Barney: It’s not too late to back out of this stupid marriage thing! You don’t have to do this, bro!
James: Yes, I do!
Barney: Why?!
James: Because Tom and I are gonna have a baby!
Barney: What, there’s gonna be a baby?
James: Yes. We’re adopting.
Barney: Oh my god… I’m gonna be an uncle?
James: For the rest of your life.
How I Met Your Mother 2.10 - Single Stamina
For erikamk.
Ted: This Ted Mosby must be getting kinda famous.
Barney: You’re not wrong. According to the website of the far superior Ted Mosby, he’s been in the business three months and he’s made a 125 movies.
Robin: Wow! That’s 42 movies a month! Who is he, Jude Law? Right? He makes alot of movies. I mean, not so much… lately, but maybe like… two years ago. You couldn’t go to a movie without e-
Ted: Shhh…
How I Met Your Mother 3.06 - “I’m Not That Guy”
Robin: You’re sick.
Barney: I’m not sick.
Robin: You’re sick!
Barney: You know what? I am sick - sick of you telling me I’m sick. What up.
How I Met Your Mother 2.11 - “How Lily Stole Christmas”
Barney: Look at us! It’s like three of the same guy. Oh my god. This explains why I was always so awesome at basketball. Guys, I’m black! Sorry. African-American. No! I’m allowed to say either.
How I Met Your Mother 6.02 - “Cleaning House”
Lily: God, this must be so hard for Barney.
Marshall: Yeah, but you know what, he took a big step today.
Barney: PAPA!
How I Met Your Mother 6.02 - “Cleaning House”
James: I still can’t get a straight answer about who my real dad is. And Barney’s no help. He still believes every lie that my mum told us growing up. Not me. I caught on early. Careful! Michael Jackson sent me this glove for my tenth bi- …Damn.
How I Met Your Mother 6.02 - “Cleaning House”
Robin: …Maybe I did oversell you a bit.
How I Met Your Mother 6.02 - “Cleaning House”
Robin: I was all like, “He knows a woman’s body better than she knows her own. Endless waves of pleasure just cresting and breaking for hours and hours, blah blah blah. Orgasms so intense, you just black out.” All that stuff.
How I Met Your Mother 6.02 - “Cleaning House”
