Lily: Are you suggesting that guys don’t talk about sex?
Marshall: Yes, we do. But you know what we say? I hit that. I got some. I tapped it. I squeezed those. Discreet, and efficient.
Robin: Not to mention classy.
How I Met Your Mother 6.05 - “Architect of Destruction”
![Marshall: [thinking] Small penis. You have a small penis. Oh, that’s super interesting! But you have a small penis. Dammit, Marshall! Okay, okay, think of any two words other than small or penis. Got it! Small penis. Dammit!
How I Met Your Mother 6.05 - “Architect of Destruction”](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_layl83vYMK1qds55lo1_400.gif)
Marshall: [thinking] Small penis. You have a small penis. Oh, that’s super interesting! But you have a small penis. Dammit, Marshall! Okay, okay, think of any two words other than small or penis. Got it! Small penis. Dammit!
How I Met Your Mother 6.05 - “Architect of Destruction”
Barney: And stop shouting! You’re scaring Cottontail.
Ted: You… named the rabbit?
Barney: You took longer to get here than I thought, we bonded, I’m keeping her.
How I Met Your Mother 6.05 - “Architect of Destruction”
How I Met Your Mother 3.01 - “Wait For It”
Barney: Ohhh, he’s goooood. Classic seduction technique.
Marshall: What do you mean?
Barney: First, I buy her, and by her, I mean you, a drink. Now I’m the guy who gets her what she wants. Then, I pretend to care about whatever idiotic thing she cares about. For you, that would be the environment. Now I’m the great guy who shares her interests, and before you know it, you’re naked in my apartment shouting, “Ohhhh Barneeeeeey!” And by you, I mean her.
How I Met Your Mother 3.06 - “I’m Not That Guy”
For kathrynkinney.
